libra85 (sunalsosets) wrote,

Remember When (Chapters 38-39)

Title: Remember When
Rating: I want to say a strong R but depending on your personal standards, maybe a light NC-17
Word Count: 3,792
Pairings: Luke/Noah, Luke/Reid, Noah/OMC
Previous Chapters: Chapters 36-37
Disclaimer: Just for fun, not for profit.
Author's Note: This is the end of Part III of the story. 

Chapter 38

The kiss went on and on until something sparked in both their brains and they suddenly remembered that they were on the sidewalk of a very public street, pawing at each other.

Even for New York City, it was a little much.

As they slowly pulled away, a heavy tension grew in Luke’s chest as he nervously searched Noah’s face. He wasn’t sure how Noah was going to respond to what just happened.

A big part of him feared that Noah would call it a mistake and pull away again. But rather than pull away, after a few nerve racking seconds of silence, Noah smiled slightly and whispered, “I’m glad you’re here.”

Returning the smile, so happy he felt like his chest would explode, Luke whispered, “me too.”

And just as he was wondering what would happen next, Noah gently grabbed for his hand, squeezing it tightly into his and said, “Let’s go.”

Luke waited until Noah had flagged down a cab and they were both settled in before asking the obvious question of where they were going.

Noah turned to him, a hint of a question written on his face, before saying softly, “my hotel room.”

Luke’s breath caught in his throat as he stared into Noah’s heat darkened eyes, the subtle question evident in it. Noah was leaving the decision up to him.

Luke stared down at their still intertwined hands, rubbing his thumb subtly, almost erotically over Noah’s before breathlessly whispering, “Okay.”

They needed to talk. He knew that. There were obviously so many questions, issues, things they needed to discuss not least of all, the third person in this equation.

But sitting in the back of a stuffy New York cab in the heart of the city, his heart racing with desire, feeling Noah’s own need and desire for him practically radiating off his body, Luke ignored everything else. He wanted this…he wanted Noah and it was obvious Noah felt the same and in that moment, it was all that mattered.

Luke nervously followed Noah into the room, quickly taking stock of it, admiring the gorgeous king-sized bed placed right in the middle and the small mini-bar area positioned to the left.

“Wow,” he said softly, “this is really beautiful.”

“And really expensive,” Noah said dryly before heading towards the mini-bar.

Grabbing two bottles of water out of a small refrigerator nestled in the corner of the bar, he muttered, “But since I’m not paying for it, it doesn’t really matter”.

“Perks of being a big deal at the festival,” Luke laughed, politely accepting the bottle Noah had just handed him.

“Something like that,” Noah smiled.

Luke took a small nervous sip of his water, staring at the floor while subtly sneaking glances at Noah beneath his eyelids.

He caught Noah’s knowing smile, right before he whispered, “nervous?”

“A little,” Luke whispered back.

Taking a few tentative steps forward, swallowing the space between them, Noah said, “You don’t have to be. There’s no pressure. We can do whatever you want.”

Staring up at Noah with a little surprise in his eyes, Luke whispered, “You know what I want.”

“Are you sure?"

Instead of a response, Luke asked his own question even though he was a little afraid of the answer.

“Are you?”

Noah said nothing, instead slowly reaching for the bottle of water Luke was now gripping tightly in his hands, before laying it on the small coffee table, alongside his.

In the blink of an eye he eliminated the sliver of space that remained between them and hungrily laid his mouth on Luke’s.

Luke barely had a second to catch his breath. Lost in the heat, intensity and passion of the kiss, he forgot that Noah had never answered his question.
Things got very heated very fast. Noah devoured Luke’s mouth to the point that he wondered if his lips would be bruised the next day. But he wasn’t complaining.

Dizzy, heart pounding, Luke could only give as good as he got, desperately taking everything that Noah offered. Air and the need to breathe became a foreign concept as they simply breathed in each other, savoring every inch of the other’s mouth.

Completely lost in a haze of Noah and more specifically Noah’s glorious mouth, Luke was barely aware of when Noah started moving backwards, heading towards the bed. The only thing his brain could register was that he didn’t want to lose Noah’s lips, Noah’s tongue, his taste, his smell and so when he moved, Luke knew he had to as well. So he did.

They moved together in a perfectly orchestrated rhythm, until Noah’s feet hit the foot of the bed. He quickly sat down, their lips not leaving each other’s for a second. Noah moved a little higher up the bed while his legs remained planted on the floor.

Luke took the opportunity to get very comfortable. He immediately climbed into Noah’s lap, increasing the intensity and pressure of their kissing. As he settled more comfortably, his crotch aligned perfectly with Noah’s and the hard-on he felt through Noah’s pants was unmistakable.

And once he felt it, he couldn’t help himself. He moved ever so slightly, rubbing their crotches against each other’s. The moan escaped loud and deep from Noah. Luke took it as an invitation to keep going. Smiling a little deviously, he moved again, this time with more purpose and intensity.

“Fuck…” Noah groaned into his mouth.

“You like that,” Luke whispered huskily, breathing his words onto Noah’s lips as he grinded even harder, eliciting his own moan.

Noah said nothing, instead reaching his hand down to tightly grip Luke’s hips, grinding it into his.

It was Luke’s turn to groan loudly as Noah kept roughly gripping his hips while simultaneously sucking on his neck. As Luke leaned back, gasping for air, body burning with desire, Noah licked a long and slow stripe up his throat, savoring every inch of skin.

Luke quickly slid his hand up to grab a fistful of Noah’s hair as he grinded harder and harder, the intensity causing his heart to race. He could feel himself getting rock hard. Just as he began pondering if they were going to revisit their very early relationship days and come in their pants, Noah gripped his hips harder but only to still it.

“Stop…” he croaked, desire making his voice incredibly ragged.

Before Luke had a chance to ask why, Noah grabbed his now slightly damp face, placing gentle kisses from his head down to his lips.

“I want to taste you,” he said, swiping lustily at Luke’s lips with his tongue. “I want to suck you and you make you feel so good.”

“Me too,” Luke stuttered, shaking a little with desire.

Gently pushing Luke off him, Noah settled him in a spot on the bed, right next to him. As soon as Luke leaned back slightly, Noah stood up, immediately reaching for Luke’s shirt, slowly and meticulously unbuttoning every single button.

Luke tried to sit up and close the space between them, whining, “I want to touch you…”

“You will,” Noah laughed slightly, “later. It’s my turn now.”

And he proceeded to slowly rid Luke of every article of clothing except for his boxer briefs. Luke made a move to remove them himself when Noah began to straddle him but Noah placed a hand on his to stop him.

“No,” he mumbled, “I want to taste you first through them. Want to feel you get harder and harder, get just a taste of you as you seep through…”

Luke didn’t hear more over the sound of his moaning with desire.

And Noah kept his promise. Moving slowly down Luke’s chest, savoring every inch of creamy skin, alternating between licking and sucking, his hand teasingly stroked Luke’s inner thigh, his ass but ignored the place Luke wanted to be touched the most.

Noah kept moving downwards, finally getting to the tiny spot of hair leading down into Luke’s crotch. Moving the briefs as low as possible without releasing Luke’s cock, which at this point, was straining against the material, he continued to suck, tease, taste and savor.

Luke’s hands were roaming into Noah’s hair, his moans, quiet and subtle at first increasing and getting louder. And then Noah moved further down, the small barrier of clothing still intact, as he mouthed Luke’s cock, tracing it with his tongue. He sucked and licked it through the material, just as he promised, feeling Luke’s taste seeping through slightly.

“Please…” Luke panted, writhing desperately beneath Noah.

Noah knew what Luke was asking for but he ignored the pleas for a few more minutes, savoring the taste of Luke through his briefs, savoring the feel of his cock hardening through the material and most importantly savoring the anticipation and build-up of finally having all of Luke, naked and raw in his mouth.

When Luke’s panting increased into very loud moans and his hand began digging deeper into Noah’s hair, Noah finally got rid of the one thing keeping him from tasting all of Luke. He wasted little time and wasn’t gentle in quickly stripping the briefs off.

Luke barely had a second to catch his breath before Noah’s mouth was on his now rock hard cock, taking it all in immediately.

“Oh fuck…” Luke groaned. He’d been so stunned by Noah’s going right into deep-throating him that he tugged a lot harder and painfully on Noah’s hair than he’d intended.

But considering how intense and focused Noah remained on deeply sucking his cock, Luke didn’t think he minded. Luke moaned and writhed, a vague thought fleeting through his head that if possible, Noah had gotten much, much better at this.

Noah kept sucking down hard, breathing through his nose, head bobbing up and down as he applied deep pressure and suction. He could feel Luke’s taste mixed with his spit.

Pulling back slightly, he added a generous amount of spit onto Luke’s cock before slowly and methodically stroking him, while he stared up into Luke’s heat filled eyes, now black with desire.

“I don’t have any lube,” he whispered.

“It’s okay,” Luke stuttered, his brain trying to form words while his body was just screaming with desire. “We can improvise.”

“I don’t want to hurt you though,” Noah said softly.

“You won’t,” Luke said softly, before adding, “but if you’re that worried about it, we don’t have to do everything.”

“This,” he stuttered some more, his body jerking slightly from the very perfect way Noah’s hand moved up and down his shaft, “this is pretty amazing already.”

Noah smiled slightly at the comment before moving his head back down, now teasingly flicking his tongue over the head of Luke’s cock, enjoying the way it seemed to redden and jerk at every flick.

He swirled his tongue around the head, just savoring it all, as his hand continued to stroke the shaft of Luke’s cock up and down. Slowly moving further down, he once again took all of Luke into his mouth.

As he did, he tentatively circled one finger of his other hand around Luke’s hole, teasing but never actually inserting it.

Luke knew he was probably worried about the lack of lube again and he got an idea. Reaching down for Noah’s hand, he brought it up to his mouth, quickly licking all over the palm before  he moved on to sucking on each finger.

Noah groaned against Luke’s cock as Luke sucked his fingers into his mouth, quickly getting the message of what Luke wanted. Once Luke released his hand, he quickly brought his finger back to Luke’s ass, this time not bothering to tease and gently circled one finger into his hole.

“Yes….” Luke practically hissed.

For the next few minutes, Noah sucked and fingered Luke, using a mixture of his spit and Luke’s pre-come to slide in.

Meanwhile Luke’s hands were practically ripping into Noah's scalp as he groaned and moaned, his body writhing passionately.

When it was clear he was in danger of coming, he quickly reached down and stilled Noah’s moves by placing on a hand on his shoulder.

“I want you naked,” he gasped. “I want to touch you and feel you against my skin.”

Noah didn’t hesitate, quickly ridding himself of all his clothes. And then they were wrapped in each other’s arms, naked skin against naked skin. Noah lay on top of Luke, their bodies perfectly aligned, their cocks now both a little soaked with pre-come gliding across each other’s.

They took a few moments to savor the moment, to touch and feel the other’s skin against their own. Noah placed a gentle kiss to Luke’s forehead as Luke slowly brought his palm up to lie gently on Noah’s chest, holding onto the rhythm of his heart-beat.

“I love you,” Luke whispered.

He actually wasn’t expecting Noah to say it back. He’d said it mostly for himself but after a few seconds of silence, Noah laid his head in the crook of Luke’s neck, breathing warmly against his skin and whispered, “I love you too.”

And then they began to move slowly against each other at first and then quickly with much more intensity, their cocks gliding and stroking against each other’s. As the pressure increased, Noah slid a hand between their bodies, both now slick with sweat and palmed both their penis into his hand, stroking with a fevered intensity.

They came staring into each other’s eyes, their mouths on each other’s, breathing their moans and groans into each other.

Chapter 39

As impossible as it seemed at first, Noah had actually allowed himself to not think. He’d allowed himself to not think of anything or anyone but he and Luke in New York and how much they loved each other. He’d forced himself to shut the world away and everyone else in it.

But eventually, no matter how hard you try, reality creeps back in. He lay on his back, staring down into Luke’s beautiful and peaceful face, fast asleep in his arms, the reality of what happened earlier in that night forming into his brain.

Another reality crept in as he finally reached for his phone on the nightstand and slowly turned it on, the first time in hours. He’d initially turned it off when the screening began because they had to and then the screening had ended and he’d found Luke and everything else had stopped.

He knew, even before the screen flashed into life, what he would find. There were two missed calls from Adam and a voicemail. Call it a slight masochistic urge; he immediately placed the phone to his ear and listened to the voicemail.

“Hey,” Adam started, “I guess you’re still busy schmoozing and wowing the New York film world. Anyway, I have to be in surgery soon and will probably be in for a few hours so in case you’re in bed by the time I’m done, I just wanted to tell you again how proud I am of you and how much I love you. I miss you and can’t wait for you to get home.”

Noah slowly pulled the phone away from his ear and gently laid it back on the nightstand, all the thoughts, the reality he’d determinedly ignored and managed not to think about, creeping in.

Luke stirred a little in his arms at that exact moment.

“Hey,” he said softly, throat a little raw from his returning the blowjob favor to Noah.

“Hi,” Noah said. He tried to keep his voice as neutral as possible but he should have known Luke knew him too well to not immediately notice something.

Shifting slightly, leaning on his arm, Luke hesitantly whispered, “What’s wrong?”

Noah decided to go with honesty.

“I just checked my phone. It’s been off for hours. Anyway, Adam called and he left me a voicemail telling me he loved me and he was proud of me and how he couldn’t wait for me to get home.”

Sitting up slowly, Luke finally said, “I’m sorry, I know that must be hard especially considering how much you care about him. And I know that the last thing you want to do is hurt him but I’m sure it’ll be okay eventually. It’ll hurt for a while but he’ll find someone else and…”

He stopped mid-speech as he suddenly realized how much Noah was not saying anything. But more than that, he noticed how stiff and uncomfortable Noah’s body language became, particularly when he mentioned Adam finding someone else.

“Noah…” he whispered softly.

Noah stared down at the sheets, avoiding his eyes.

“Oh my god,” Luke breathed out, panic, fear, shame and many other emotions he couldn’t put into words suddenly setting in.

“Luke,” Noah began slowly, looking like he was unsure how best to approach the topic.

“You’re not going to leave him,” Luke whispered, shock written over his face. As soon as he said it though, his anger powered through and overrode all his other emotions.

“So what was this,” he yelled, “just some hook-up? Is that what am I to you, some afternoon fuck?”

He quickly pushed the sheets aside, muttering, “I need to get out of here…”

He had only swung one leg over the bed before Noah, who had seemed almost speechless and paralyzed roughly grabbed for his arm, forcing Luke to look at him.

“Don’t touch me,” Luke snapped; his anger but more importantly the aching hurt he felt making him almost irrational with rage.

“Stop,” Noah said softly, before his voice took on an almost pleading tone, "please stop…”

Luke finally stopped squirming to get out of Noah’s grip but he kept his eyes focused on the floor, refusing to meet Noah’s eyes.

“You know you mean much more than to me Luke…”

Luke couldn’t restrain the sarcastic scoff.

“You do,” Noah insisted, “and today was more than just some hook-up or some afternoon fuck, as you so nicely put it.”

Tightening his grip on Luke’s arms, desperation in his voice, he whispered, “Luke, look at me…please.”

A few long and tense moments went by before Luke finally lifted his head, slowly meeting Noah’s eyes.

As soon as he did, Noah said softly, “I love you” and like he wanted to make sure there was no confusion or doubt about it, he repeated it two more times.

Luke stared at him, the anger slowly fading out of him, replaced now with only sadness and pain. A few tears formed in his eyes as he finally said, “But you love Adam too.”

It wasn’t a question but more a statement of fact. And Noah’s slight eye shift, no longer able to maintain full eye contact with Luke, told him he was right.

Slowly pulling out Noah’s arms, Luke said softly, “I need to get dressed,” before climbing out of the bed and heading towards the bathroom. Noah didn’t try to stop him.
Fifteen minutes later, after he’d given himself enough time to calm down and try to not let on how much he was slowly crumbling on the inside, Luke made his way out of the bathroom, fully dressed.

Noah had taken the time to put on a t-shirt and some sweat pants.

“Luke…” he began, the second Luke walked out of the bathroom.

“No,” Luke said, raising his palm slightly. “Let me say this while I still have the strength to.”

“Okay…” Noah said.

Taking a very heavy breath, trying to calm his racing emotions, Luke said, “I do believe you Noah…that you love me. But you also love Adam and I guess I don’t have to tell you that you can’t have us both.”

Wrapping his arms around himself like he was suddenly chilly, Luke continued, fighting through the quiver in his voice, “I thought I could be okay with just being your friend, especially when it seemed like you didn’t feel the same about me as I did about you. But knowing that you love me too, I realize we can’t go back to pretending to just be friends. I love you, I want to be with you but if you don’t want that, you have to tell me and let me go.”

He was losing the battle with his tears. Choking back against them as best he could, Luke added, “You have to make a choice Noah. This can’t go on anymore. You have to choose between me and Adam.”

Taking another heavy breath, breathing it out very slowly, forcing his voice back into control, he stated calmly, “I have to be in Chicago for a few days for work. I’m going to extend it to two weeks and during that time I won’t call you, or email you or have any contact with you and I don’t want you to contact me either. You need to figure out what you want. When I get back to Oakdale, I need an answer from you.”

Noah simply listened, his face almost unreadable. Luke could see the pain of knowing that he was hurting because of him, the confusion and more. He could also see Noah’s love for him clearly reflected on his face but still he remained silent, almost stoic.

“And if you decide that Adam is who you want to be with then I will respect that and I won’t bother you but you will need to let me go.”

On that final note, he moved forward and gently laid his palm to Noah’s cheek before placing a soft and tender kiss to his lips.

“Goodbye, Noah,” he said, before slowly moving away.

He was stopped though as Noah grabbed the palm still at his cheek, squeezing it tightly.

Staring down at their joined hands, looking like he was carrying the weight of millions, Noah whispered, “I love you so much, I do and I hate this, I hate…”

“Shh,” Luke said, placing his fingers to Noah’s lips, “I know. I know…but I have to go now.”

And with that, he gently tugged his hand away, Noah still looking like he was struggling between letting him leave and begging him to stay.

Luke held it together well as he slowly walked to the door, refusing to turn back. He made it all the way back to his own hotel room before he fell to the floor and cried his heart out.

Across the city, in his own hotel room, Noah sat on the still rumpled bed and wrapped his arms around himself and cried at how badly he’d screwed things up and the realization that he was going to have to hurt one of the most important people in his life.
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